Sunday, September 29, 2013

Season 1: Murder Takes the Bus

I am addicted to you tubing this song.

And now because I can't find a MSW epi about the impending government shutdown, I'm going to do one about a . . . bus. 

I guess an epi about a really bad storm and a bus could be a metaphor for the cluster that is Washington DC. However, as the devoted readers of this blog know, I am very, very lazy.  So all you are getting is a synopsis. Jess and Sheriff Tupperware are returning to Cabot Cove via that classy mode of transport-the bus. After several mysterious personages appear on the bus, bad weather forces them off the road and into an isolated diner. After Jess realizes that one of the passengers is dead a la screwdriver attack, she resolves to take the train in the future.

The Suspects
Ben Gibbons-  Bus driver who was wielding the murder weapon MOMENTS before the victim is found dead. Blood on yer hands much?

Miriam Radford- Librarian. Immediately a suspect.

Steve Pascal- Seen fighting with the victim just before the bus ran into "bad weather." Their conversation seemed testy, like the kind I have with that guy at work I can't stand.

Famous Actors
This epi must win for the most bizarre double paring. We have Ms. McClanahan aka Blanche from Golden Girls and Ms. Linda Blair from a little horror movie you might have heard something about. Apropos of nothing, both seem like very nice people.

80's Baby!
Nothing in particular, just a lot of tweedy, sweater-y, big earring-y stuff. 

The End?
Jess quickly surmises that the dead man is a former inmate, and it quickly becomes apparent he is a famous bank robber by the name of Gilbert Stoner (he!). Sheriff Tupperware orders everyone back into the diner, purportedly for him to "solve" the crime. We all know this is fiddlesticks, Jess is sizing up each and everyone one of them. She confronts Steve Pascal first, who denies speaking to the dead Stoner. Eventually he cracks, admitting something that is becoming shockingly clear- there are several people on the bus with ties to Stoner's robbery, committed several years ago. Apparently, Mr. Pascal's dad was one of two bank robbers who accompanied the bad Stoner. Mr. Pascal was fighting with him to retrieve his dad's share of the heist. Doesn't he know how cheap Stoners are?!

Jess let's him cry it out before turning her attention to librarian Miriam Radford, who I admittedly threw in here as a suspect for a spot of fun. NO Miriam didn't kill Stoner, but she did lift a rare book from his belongings. And now the third bank robber reveals himself, he was ALSO after the book but not because he reads n' sh*t (I mean honestly, who does?) but because it contained the key to a safety deposit box with the stolen bank loot.

After a bunch of back and forth with the bus being fixed/not fixed and Stoner being killed twice (trust me, isn't all that interesting), Jess arrives on her final suspect. Ben Gibbons. Jess knows from a news clipping (must I remind you she has no smart phone) that a bystander was killed during Stoner's robbery, and that victim had the same last name as our bus driver, Ben Gibbons. Ben readily admits to the crime as revenge for the bystander's death, who turns out to be his daughter. Jess nods sadly at the end, and I can tell what she is thinking:

"Stoners never prosper." JBF


Jorja Tabu said...

Hells yeah! This is one of my favorite episodes because it manages to pack in the highest number of familiar faces (like RM and LB), and it's the Jessicafied version of Agatha Christie. Awesome.

Thank you for writing this blog. It seriously cheers me up :)

Elsie said...

Aw shucks Jorja, you make us blush. We can do better than updating this blog once a year, promise!

anne said...

Welcome back! I've missed your episode reviews!

Elsie said...

Thanks Anne my dear! We are committed to not be so totally lazy in the future.

Bridgette said...

"Doesn't he know how cheap Stoners are?!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! Once again, you're the bestest, Elsie. :)