Sunday, December 19, 2010

Season 2: If a Body Meets a Body

Ok, but WHY no holiday-themed episodes? This show ran for like 20 seasons. It's incredibly lame I'm not allowed a juicy Christmas-themed murder.


The town financial planner, Henry Vernon, is dead. Sort of. A funeral is held, and shortly after the town realizes their balances sheets are also dead on arrival. Yes, he Madoff'ed them. While his mistress throws a dramatic scene at the funeral, the casket is knocked over and, et voila, we have John Doe, and NOT Henry Vernon. But he ends up dead anyways, so who done it?

The Suspects

Connie Vernon-- Claims her husband "woke up dead" while on vacation. Beyond the plausible issues with that statement, Connie was in line to receive some serious dough from Henry's death. Definitely a suspect.

Phillis Walters-- Throws a big hissy fit at the funeral, accusing Connie Vernon of killing her husband! It doesn't take too long to put two and two together. Phillis Walters was hot and heavy with Henry. Was she looking to pin ye old blame on his wife?

Ned Olsten-- Business partner of Henry Vernon's. Did Henry threaten to tell all about the embezzlement scheme and get offed in return?

80's Baby!

The perms are still serious in this epi, but you can see the late 80's early 90's progression from poodle-tight to soft waves. That's all the perm analysis I have for one Sunday. Other than that there is a pause-worthy Victorian blouse that Connie sports. "Would you like a cup of teaaaaa?"

Famous Actors

My laziness says NO, but thanks for playing.

The End?

Sheriff Tupperware is smarting that "everyone in town" thinks Jessica Fletcher solves all his cases. NO, really? So he tries to tell her to butt out. Failing in that as in everything else, Jessica launches an investigation on her own. She interviews the resident slut, Phillis Walters, and finds out that Connie and Henry were fighting lots before he kicked the bucket.

Ugh, there is such a cranky-pants asshole boyfriend in this episode. Thank goodness men are so emasculated these days, whew! Jess and Amos enjoy a leisurely dinner at Connie's house. The next day, Henry turns up really dead at Phillis' apartment. Apparently, he was just playing fakester to get away from that whole "embezzlement" thing. Connie was in on the faked death thing, but claims she had nothing to do with his embezzling ways.

After the town enjoys a nice uproar once Henry's embezzlement comes to light, Jess hones in on Phillis. After a 5 second interrogation, she determines that Phillis received a call purportedly from Henry for a late night assignation. Phillis claims he never showed, and Jess accepts this with a sniff. She theorizes Phillis was deliberately led astray, by none other than Connie Vernon!

Connie was in on the embezzlement from the start, and when Henry got nervous, she silenced him for good. "But I never got rid of the murder weapon" Connie purrs, pulling the most gigantic lead pipe from Jessica's flower beds. Good thing Sheriff Tupperware was lying in wait. He should stick to stakeouts.


Kitten said...

Sheriff Tupperware! Oh, snort!

Dang, you're on fire this episode! I don't even know where to start, so many good lines!

Wait, there is definitely at least one Christmas episode...I think it involved a sad Vietnam vet?? I'll look into this.

Elsie said...


Kitten said...

Season 9...A Christmas Secret