Sunday, May 16, 2010

Season 1: Paint Me a Murder

You know MSW is in a different location when "ethnic music" starts the credits. "Mediterranean" must mean gypsy banjo to the producers, because this intro is banging. We open on a gorgeous Mediterranean island where gloved hands are loosening a very large, very heavy stone statue. Ahhh, murder on a Sunday afternoon. And Robert Goulet in a red scarf.


I'm not kidding it's a little red scarf/tie, like something a French mime would wear. Gouldet plays Willard, a wealthy hanger-on. And I just want you to know that scene with him in his little red scarf makes this entire epi worth it. Willard is a guest on the secluded island of Diego Santana, the famous artist. But bad news for Diego, someone keeps trying to kill him. He narrowly escapes the old-stone-statue-over-balcony ploy, but he is worried someone will try again soon. You know, with an even HEAVIER statue. We have a smattering of other island guests, an ex-wife, a new, younger wife, an business associate. All have awful, very un-Mediterranean accents. Jessica arrives just in time for Diego's 60th birthday party, in a helicopter.

It's an island! Remember? She HAD to come in a helio. Right after her arrival, Willard has a heart attack on the beach. Then Diego gets killed via crossbow. Happy birthday, sucker!


Elaine Macuba-- Philanthropist dedicated to the plight of African children. So, she's a real downer. "If you sold that painting it could fed hundreds of African children!" Would she kill Diego to get her hands on those paintings?

Willard Kaufman-- Purportedly wealthy patron who seems a wee-bit jealous of Diego. But then again, Diego doesn't have that snazzy red tie, now does he?

Sir John-- Comrade of Diego's. Pompous, white haired, sports a Hamilton tan. 80's tastic! Lied about seeing Kaufman recently, but why?

Famous Actors

Robert Goulet, who apparently had severe performance anxiety after his relatives used to torture him into doing impressions. Yikes. Anywho, Grammy and Tony award-winning, take that toxic relatives.

80's Baby!

Jess wears a truly astonishing black/gold sequin number at dinner. Apart from your usual gigantic earrings and floral head-to-toe evening dresses, not much else.

The End?

Jess makes her rounds interviewing the guests. She finds out that Willard has been slowly buying up Diego's paintings and lying about it! After a nice jog, Jess hastens her search for the killer after someone torches Diego's studio. This happens in the middle of the night, so of course Jess is in her favorite robe (counter alert). Looks like yellow silk. Nice. In fact, everyone is in their robes. Ew. Men in robes.

Apparently, after lots of subplots and random scenery shots, Jess has enough to accuse Sir John. So so she arranges a MSW set up. She implicates Sir John with Willard Kaufman, who had been purchasing Diego's paintings on his behalf. Sir John knew that with Diego's death, the paintings would skyrocket in price. So he killed him. With friends like these Diego, with friends like these.


Kitten said...


This episode has to be my favorite of season 1...and there are some doozies. Goulet in a scarf makes it all worth it. A robe counter is a good idea, but so is a dead patriarch counter. There's a lot of those going on in MSW land!

"Happy birthday, sucker!"

Elsie said...

Ah yes, thanks for remding me. I upped the dead patriarch counter.

Danny Capps said...

Stewart Granger, Cesar Romero, and Robert Goulet... what a guest cast!