Saturday, April 24, 2010

Season 1: Sudden Death

I always thought "Sudden Death" would be an awesome roller derby name. Don't steal it, I totally thought of it first. And no, we are not yet done with Season 1. MSW is prolific, if nothing else.


Jess's Uncle Cyrus kicks the can, leaving Jess his sole beneficiary. And what did he leave her? A pretty lame portfolio, which includes a complex mix of mortgage-based securities. Ha! Just kidding, if that were the case Jess would have signed away. Instead, the portfolio includes a football team, the Leopards. After some intense pressure from the owner, Phil Kruger, to sign away her shares, Jess get's interested. Zack, the star player, is out with an injury. But we're dealing with a young, pre-face lift Bruce Jenner, so he charms the pants (skirt?) off our Jess. He's the only one who doesn't offer to buy Jess's shares (the price reaches $150k!). After a rousing 80's party at Kruger's pad (a must-see, really) we next see Kruger floating in the team's soaking tub. Taking a bath. Ah, you caught me. Yeah, he's dead.


Zach Ferrel-- Star player out with an injured shoulder. Since he couldn't play, Kruger wanted Zach off the gravy train. But not if Zach could throw HIM off first...

Mr. Dillon-- Equipment manager who Kruger threatened with dismissal. Had his stocks bought out by Kruger years ago and still holds a grudge. Did he also HOLD him underwater?

Wes McCord-- Talent manager for the Leapords who would have been able to take the team in a new direction if he could bring on new talent. But Kreuger wouldnt sell him shares, did Wes make the decision for him post-mortem?

Mr Lockwood-- Lawyer who tries to manipulate Jess into selling the portfolio. Without her signing her shares away, his retainer fee is nil. But with Kruger out of the picture, he might be able to charge the pants off the dead man. To which I say, TYPICAL lawyer!

Famous Actors

That wasn't fair of me. I know many non-blood sucking, nice-seeming lawyers. I blame Hollywood for these stereotypes. And, maybe their egos. Speaking of egos, Zach is played by Bruce Jenner, former Olympian and long-suffering stepfather of the Kardashians. I wish I had more to say, but I don't. Actually, revise that. I don't wish I had more to say. And how often does that happen? Also, we have legendary football linebacker Dick Butkus, one of those awesomely hilarious old-timey names like "Des Tol" or "Mike Italiano." Anyway, Dick wins the coolness competition hands-down, he's a pretty big deal. Unlike those seeking fame in soul-destroying, America-dumbing "reality" shows (I totally watch).

80's Baby!

There's a really great party scene where a fem-mullet in a purple, cowl-neck-shoulder-padded-sweater-dress gets tossed in a pool over pop synthesizer music. Rad! Jess even trips the light fantastic in a ruffled, red blouse/nighty combo (replete with pearls). We also have a nice scene with a carpeted bathroom.... ew.

The End

Lieutenant Clyde Pace is on the case, and with some urging from Jess, retrieves a gold watch from the bottom of the tub. It looks pretty damning when an engraving reveals the watch belongs to Zach. Jess believes in his innocence because he is the father of, "that nice deaf child." Deaf sounds so un-PC, but I'll let it slide. This time. Jess decides to investigate on his behalf, and gets herself neatly locked in the team's sauna with the heat jacked WAY up. Being a woman of a certain age, Jess is used to hot flashes, and barely breaks a sweat before getting rescued by Mr. Dillon.

After cooling off, she makes a stop over at Zach's house, and finds they'd been getting some threatening phone calls about their child. Apparently, they didn't adopt the child legally. But Jess let's them off easy, since they wanted the child, "really badly." Oh, well, THEN it's ok. Of note to Jess is the fact that they used Mr. Lockwood's legal expertise to procure the adoption.

Ok, I have to stop this for a second because we have a new counter alert. See to the right... Yes, Jess once AGAIN answers the door in her robe. Who does this? Anywho, Jess thinks Kruger was killed at the party and then moved. She finds her evidence in Kruger's wet bathroom (it's carpeted, remember?) and the photos taken at the party. Someone was wearing 2 different blazers...

Jess uses the old "dry cleaning" ploy to bring Wes McCourt back to the crime scene, the tub in Mr. Kruger's bathroom. Wes drowned him there, moved the body, and planted evidence implicating Zach. Just before Wes can, "burn the house down with you in it," (counter alert!) Lieutenant Pace jumps to the rescue. After neatly escaping being burned alive, Jess tugs the heartstrings when she gives her stock to Zach's little girl. Awwww! Scene.


Kitten said...

You're really cranking up the wisecrack meter on this one...good stuff!!

When I started reading this, I thought: "I don't remember any episode with Bruce Jenner." But it all came back to me a few more lines in!

BTW...loved: "To which I say, TYPICAL lawyer!" Egomaniacs abound.

Elsie said...

I study the LAWWWWW !

Anonymous said...

"Being a woman of a certain age, Jess is used to hot flashes, and barely breaks a sweat before getting rescued by Mr. Dillon." Love it! I did find her lack of sweating to be unusual, but that totally explains it! :-p

Mike said...

I'm making my way through Murder She, Wrote after work when I need some quality mindless entertainment, thanks to Netflix Instant and have no shame in doing so, even though I like to think I'm a hip young thirtysomething dude and I'm watching it on my phone on the train in public.

The first thing I do upon finishing an episode is Google "murder she blogged [episode title]" to read your snark, which makes me feel like I'm watching the show with detached irony, even though we both all that's not true. I'm always surprised and amusedby your commentary, but as soon as I got to rhe party in this episode, I knew you'd have a lot to say. So totally awesome.

Thanks for the entertainment.

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