Sunday, April 18, 2010

Season 1: Capitol Offense

I'm one of those folks doomed to google the word, "Capitol" to make sure I have it spelled right. And I'm not going to tell you what I do for a living, because that will make this a thousand times more embarrassing.


Awwww, DC in the 80's! How cute! Parties with corrupt congressman at the Watergate, booze clutched amorously in crystal classes, uptight women with french twists and pearls.... wait a minute, sounds a lot like... Just kidding, no one hangs out at the Watergate anymore. At this wild DC party, Congressman Joyner (D-ME) gets his ticket punched (heart attack to be exact) right before a crucial vote on a cannery bill. And GUESS where he's from? So the Governor of Maine picks Jessica to fill his seat on an interim basis. Now, I would have pooh-pooh this whole plot if it weren't for "Roland," and "Burris." So, refraining from comment, Jess heads off to DC (Mr. Speaker is wondering when she arrives!). But Detective Avery Mendelson is convinced Rep. Joyner was murdered, he enlists Jess's help in identifying the...


Diana Simms- Admin for Rep. Fletcher! (Acting). Seems to have a strong opinion of that cannery bill, and a 'tude to match! But obviously, not a serious suspect because Admins can't do anything.

Joe Blindt- I'm just keeping up with DC stereotypes here! Don't shoot the messenger! Ok, Joe Blint is a, "Media Liaison Officer." I think they mean Press Secretary. Just let me be smarty pants on this episode, half the fun of living in DC is making fun of things like this. Joe wants Jess to vote JUST like Rep. Joyner, and discourages her taking this "man work" seriously. Welcome to DC Jess.

Rep. Dan Kempner (R-East Nowhere) I took liberties with the political affiliation. Read into it what you may. Kempner desperately wanted to speak with Rep. Joyner about his support for the cannery bill, and we ALL know how cranky these entitled, rich, white men get when someone doesnt support their bill (p.s. angry/murderous).

80's Baby

Oh look, you could drive in front of the White House, AND film in the Capitol. Ha. Ha! All things of the past my friends. Cross against the light these days and you'll answer to a yelly-MCyellerson Capitol Policeman (true story). Let's see, what else. Smoking in the office. Also, during Jess's first committee hearing, she makes this observation, "If his testimony is written down, why are we waisting our time listening to it?" I am unhappy to report to you that,

NOTHING HAS CHANGED in this respect. That is all.

Famous Actors

The DC gossip columnist has certainly been in her share of MSW's, and that also goes for Jess's fearless admin. But alas, they remain nameless because I am, at my core, hopelessly lazy.

The End?

Jess cuts major swath unveiling the "complicated issues" involved in the cannery bill. She then agrees to meet Rep Kempner for breakfast to discuss the legislation, but he never shows. Not only does he not show, he gets picked up the next day for murdering a young journalist! He throws himself at the mercy of our new Representative from Maine. Jess believes his story of "not remembering a thing" because he's an alcoholic (?). Jess does her digging, and links the murdered woman with her Admin, Diana Simms! But that lead ends when it appears that Diana simply warned her friend about falling in with a bad crowd. Jess is at loose ends, until a DC gossip columnist tips about a jilted boyfriend looking to get even with our young murder victim.

And WHO is the jilted boyfriend? Why none other than Joe Blindt. Joe employed our murder vicitm to spy on Rep. Kempner. She got greedy, he ended the "relationship." Doesnt all add up? What can I tell you, it's a classic DC story.


Kitten said...

LOL!!! This particular episode is perfect for you....NOTHING HAS CHANGED. Har. Excellent.

Fave quote: "But obviously, not a serious suspect because Admins can't do anything." Ouch. The truth hurts. ;)

I might have to add this one back onto my Netflix queue via Wii. Love the Wiiflix.

Elsie said...

I did this one quickly, as you'll note from the lack of "famous actor" category. I'll fill in when I get home, the "gossip columnist" was certainly someone in a few lifetime movies...