Saturday, January 30, 2010

Season 1: Hit, Run and Homicide

Driverless cars and copious amounts of male chest hair... must be a Season 1 episode of MSW!!!

It’s the annual “Founder’s Day” picnic. Jess has her speech prepared about the Cabot Cove founders, horribly bland potato salad is uncovered, and a driverless car tries to mow down a picnic reveler. So basically, it's just your typical day in Cabot Cove. The intended victim escapes, but just nearly. He is Charles Woodley. A big city executive who was supposedly lured to Cabot Cove by the resident nutty professor, Daniel O’Brian. Daniel is, you guessed it, an old friend of Jess’s. After Woodley’s business partner gets killed by the driverless, murderous, wood-paneled station wagon, things get serious. While out riding her signature basket-outfitted bike (sans helmet, I must report), Jessica spots our driverless car. For some unexplainable reason, she gets in. The car. That’s been shown to drive around with no one inside. Obviously remote-controlled… Ok, so Jess has one wild ride once that door slams shut, the crazy driverless car seems to have a mind of its own! I did enjoy the scenes of her in the car, reminds one of the “simulator” in Drivers Ed. Anyway, she escapes before taking a plunge off a cliff. What should Jess do next? Turn to her…


Charles Woodley—Typical business executive MSW prick. This was during the “Greed is Good” 80’s bubble phase, so we’ll forgive the stereotyping. His partner gets killed by the driverless car, setting the scene for Woodley to gain all the proceeds from their joint partnership. But would he set himself up as bait?

Daniel O’Brien—Local Cabot Cove inventor. Has a workshop filled with bleeping inventions, its all very Tales of the Crypt-ish if that makes any sense. In fact, I think this actor might have been in a few of those…. Anyway, he used to work for Woodley at some fancy-pants electronics company, but then got fired. There is still bad blood, as evidenced by O’Brien’s references to inviting Woodley to a “hanging party” and “only if I was in charge of the ropes.” Yikes, bikes. Anyway, Daniel invented a driverless car when he worked for Woodley, and made some calls to his office the week before. Damming, very damming.

Katie Simmons—Daniel’s houseguest, who feels so at home that she answers his door. “A little too familiar” I said to myself. Well I was right, because she is totally in love with Daniel. Would this secret love drive her to kill his old rival?

Tony O’Brien– Daniel’s nephew who does not feel the need to wear an undershirt with his polo. Stands to gain from all his uncle’s inventions if, say, his uncle was proved insane. It’s an idea put into his head by…

Leslie—Tony’s fiancé (I guess they don’t get last names either). Wants Tony to have Daniel “examined” for mental instability. Takes many mysterious trips to Portland, and perhaps more offensively, wears large belts with shorts.

Famous Actors
Van Johnson, of MGM WWII-era studio fame. I could list the movies but you probably haven’t seen any of them. He did star with Liz Taylor though. Pretty neat. Along those same lines, we have June Allyson, whose movie career probably isn’t as interesting as her early life recovering from a freak tree-branch accident. Seriously, read about it in wiki, it’s fascinating. Anyway, Van was supposedly quite moody in person. But I’d love have a cup of coffee with June, she seemed like a cool broad.

80's Baby
The driverless car is a wood-paneled station wagon. Isn’t that enough? Ok, if its not, Tony wears his shirt open to his navel while over at Jessica’s for dinner. Never was male chest hair so universally accepted.

The End?
Our bonehead sheriff is convinced the remote device is the one David O’Brien invented and has him arrested. Jess isn’t buying. She is convinced the car is remotely controlled by a van spotted at the scene. She sets up an elaborate sequence where they reenact the picnic scene, using their own remote device. As the car bears down on Woodley once again, she waits until Leslie runs for the van, and Woodley yells out for her at the same time. QUITE a coincidence! Jess sniffed out that her trips to Portland were B.S., and apparently that’s enough because Leslie confesses almost immediately that the entire scheme was Woodley’s idea. Apparently, some of Daniel’s inventions were quite valuable indeed; Leslie and Woodley were in cahoots to reap the benefits. We end, as we so often do in MSW land, after dinner a joke.


Kitten said...

Excellent!! Such a good episode. I want to say that June Allyson used to be featured on several long-running Polident commercials. A lovely lady, indeed!

Elsie said...

I hope she made a boatload!